Dilemma..........

I am scheduled to start my third IVF cycle tomorrow. And I think this would be our last attempt at IVF. 

But I am in dilemma - to go ahead tomorrow or wait for another month ? Since this would be our final attempt, I want to be in the best possible physical and emotional state. But with the clock ticking, as repeatedly indicated by the fertility specialist, I do not have the luxury to spend time on preparation. 

To make matters more complicated, DH is scheduled for an official trip next month. So in case we decide to undergo treatment next month, DH would not be present during egg retrieval and embryo transfer - basically he would be absent during the most crucial period. So we may opt for treatment in the month of December - a delay of two months. And considering that having a baby is all I can think about, you can bet your bottom dollar that I would go mad during such a long break. 

So what to do? I am not ready to start the cycle tomorrow, DH would not be at home next month and the following month is very very far off? 

Life sucks. This infertility has completely taken over my life. Everything else has stopped. Or become immaterial. I can't go ahead and I can't go back. And I would soon run out of time. 

I wish we had not started this IVF treatment at all.